first a picture, then a love letter

(penance pic for Friday, May 12, 2006)



There are a few things I've always been sure I'd never do. Skydiving (scared of wetting my pants), nude sunbathing (scared I'd make someone else wet their pants), and internet dating (scared that I'd wind up being tossed nude from an airplane constructed out of cardboard boxes and a lawnmower engine) top that list. Then I got pregnant and we moved across the country from our friends and family. I discovered a great little pregnancy website and happened upon a thread devoted to other mommy-to-be's in my new home town. I started connecting with these ladies on a daily basis -- checking out their profiles, feeling out their opinions and attitudes towards motherhood. When I was satisfied we had enough in common, I introduced myself. We chatted from the safety of our computers. Then we started making plans to meet in person. Maybe we could all get together to walk in the park. Or we could all meet for lunch. Yah, sort of like dating. On the internet.

Long story short(er), I now have four new beautiful friendships with four amazing women I might not have met otherwise. And, for me, that's just where it began. I noticed one day that at the end of each of AmyJo's posts she had added the message
"You've been invited to the Cheese Party! www.cheeseparty.blogspot.com". I had, of course, heard of blogs, but that was the first time I had ever been invited to one. And a party, no less. With cheese! My curiosity was getting the better of me, so I decided to check it out. And suddenly a whole new world was opened to me. Amy's vivid, honest, description of her pregnancy sent my head spinning:

I wasn't alone.

The concerns, the fears, the discomfort, joy, excitement, dread -- those feelings I didn't dare share with anyone else were right there in front of me in SOMEONE ELSE'S VOICE.

I wasn't alone.
I had found confirmation.

I WASN'T ALONE!!!!

From Amy's blog I found a link to Lora's. And again I found confirmation. Confirmation that led me to wander yet again outside of my comfort zone and check out some of the blogs they had linked to. And I continued to find confirmation. An amazing network of voices whispering, singing, shouting, and crying together. Supporting each other. Sharing stories. Trading heartaches. Holding and building each other up. A community.

On Mother's Day, I will celebrate my mother. I will celebrate her for her love and energy, for her patience and determination. I will celebrate those women (grandmothers, mother, sisters, aunts, friends)who have molded and shaped me into the woman that I am, shaving away little by little at my rough edges. I will reflect on where I come from -- the communities of my past. I will, for the first time, celebrate myself as a mother. I will revel in the knowledge that my life has inexplicably changed. I will celebrate my husband and my son -- my present community. And I will celebrate the Amy's, and the Lora's -- the amazing community of women who have selflessly put their experiences in motherhood out there for me to find and draw strength from. Also my present community, but more importantly, a community for my future.
Happy Mothers Day, Mommy Bloggers... I'm gonna raise my Koolaid glass high in your honor!



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2 comments:

Jenn said...

I celebrate you too. Thanks so much for the kind shout-out.

Jenn said...

P.S. I'm a native Philly girl. Eat a hoagie for me. Provolone, oil and vinegar, no mayo.