what i learned on my summer family vacation

  1. A 14 month old needs at least 1.5 times the luggage of 2 adults.
  2. A 14 month old does not understand such things as changes in air pressure, other people sleeping, or jet lag.
  3. A 14 month old most certainly does not understand why the f*** he is still in his carseat 6 hours after take-off.
  4. A 14 month old does not understand that "vacation" is supposed to mean "sleeping in".
  5. If said 14 month old has traveled from Eastern Standard Time to Mountain Standard Time, he will still wake up at 7:00 am EST.
  6. 7:00 am is 5-freaking-o'clock in Phoenix.
  7. If you decided at the last minute that packing the baby's snowsuit is probably unnecessary because you will be in Phoenix and then Tucson AZ, it's a safe bet that the weather there will be colder than the weather you have been experiencing ALL WINTER LONG in Philadelphia.
  8. The drive between Phoenix and Tucson gets longer as you get older.
  9. It is possible to fit 4+ adults and 6 billion children on a single trampoline.
  10. When in the presence of other children, a 14 month old will expect to be able to do anything a 4 year old can do.
  11. It is your fault if a 14 month old cannot master the same feats that a 4 year old can master.
  12. It is always a good idea to pack an extra towel.
  13. You will not die from loss of blood due to biting your tongue.
  14. The delirum that results from said loss of blood is actually quite nice. Warm and woozy.
  15. A secret/therapy blog is a good thing.
  16. Dial-up kills blogging.
  17. It is possible to leave one item behind in each place that you stayed and not miss it until you get back home and can't remember which place you left it at so that you have to call each place and tell the same tired story of how completely incompetent you are over and over and over whilst they are going through their various lost and found boxes.
  18. It is a good idea to totally unpack your suitcases and the suitcases of those traveling with you before you call the places you stayed at looking for an item that you didn't really leave but packed instead in the most unlikely of places.
  19. Cigarette smoke sucks.
  20. There's no place like home.



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2 comments:

The Curmudgeon said...

We had snow in Phoenix (well, it got as close as Scottsdale, anyway) last March when we went down for my son's Spring Training debut.

The warmest place we could find was the rental car. The hotel had no heat. It was freezing outside. We drove everywhere. And never went out of the car unless we absolutely had to.

Jacqueline said...

yeah. snow in tucson. and these weenies were calling it a blizzard. A BLIZZARD! pansies.


p.s. have the bites healed up yet?