getting to know meeeeee

Seriously, are any of you really that surprised?

My particular favorite description of my personality?

"ISFJs have a rich inner world that is not usually obvious to observers..."

People, you have no idea.



.

oh yeah. i was supposed to post this stuff

Decided to go through the 87+ folders labeled "Misc" on my computer (NO, I AM NOT NESTING)and came across these pics from LG's first minor league baseball game:

He's not really thirsty. He's just using the sippy cup as a diversion so that the crazy lady* behind him will leave him alone. Lady, please. Peek-a-boo is only funny the first 14 million times.

"No, YOU da man."

And then there are these from the 10 hour road trip to North Carolina. Proof that they do things just a leeettle differently in other parts of the country:

Air Freshener
Pulaski, VA
Yes, that is a thumbtack holding a toilet bowl cleaner to the wall.
And they looked at me like I was the crazy one, taking pictures of the bathroom with my phone.


Speedometer, about 19 miles west of Asheville, NC


Speed limit, about 19 miles west of Asheville, NC

• No, I wasn't the only car on the road.
• No, I wasn't the first in line.
• No, I couldn't switch lanes.
• No, there weren't more than 4 other vehicles around, none of which were involved in any accident / visible vehicular malfunction.
  
• Yes, I was the only one who appeared bothered by the crawl pace at which we were moving.
• No, I didn't use my horn or flash my lights. I was busy taking pictures.
• Yes, I took these pictures while driving.
• No, that wasn't "kind of dangerous". I was going 57. In a 65 zone.

*NOT the lady in the wheelchair. She was actually quite witty. And a big thanks to her for keeping LG entertained in the bottom of the 6th by letting him play with the buttons on her chair. Wherever you are, ma'am, I sincerely hope you've recovered from that sudden bout of motion sickness...


.

thankful my hips are size "child-bearing"

BG owns this model electric shaver:

Meet the Braun Activator...

which, when in self cleaning mode, randomly shakes itself and makes a noise that could only be described as "pissed off, mating dinosaur":

Menacing, no?

A sound, which, when one is lost in thought, er, facilitating herself, might cause one to fall through the ring on which she is daintily perched. Provided, of course, that ones backside is not a considerable asset.


.
images from (in order of appearance):
http://www.amazon.com/Braun-8595-Activator-Self-Cleaning-Shaving/sim/B0002Q67EA/1
http://starlightrunner.com/images/press/turok_dinosaur.jpg

in which the fingers begin to type words in no particular order - or- how the dam doth burst and it's either this or piddle on the floor

Things I'm doing to prove that the Grand Overlord and his Invocation of Total Silence About All Things Worth Blogging 2007 is not the boss of me:

1. Rearranging LG's toys. Alphabetically. Then by height, tallest to the back.
2. Fine tuning my schedule. Don't make me pull out the weekly chore list.
   
3. Sticking out my tongue to see if it has grown long enough to touch my nose.
4. Making lists. Of things that start with the letter P.
5. Playing "From Whence Cometh the Stank in my Re-frig-or-ator?" (Is it a bad sign if you have to play that more than once a day?)
   
6. Lining up my personalities. The little one in the front? That's Timmy. The rest are anal retentive biotches. But they all started out like Timmy. They always do.
   
7. Reading and re-reading Anne Nahm. Because I *heart* Anne Nahm. Even if said heart all but exploded when I discovered that Anne isn't Anne. And then that discovery made me love Anne all the more. Because Anne Nahm? As in Anne-Nahm-imous (say it all together now, really fast. An-non-y-mous... yeah, it took me a while, too.)? So clever. In a crossing my wrists in front of me and pounding my chest while mouthing "Right here. You got me right here, you clever girl, you" sort of way.
   
8. Playing "LeapBlog".* (See, I told you there would be a number 8.)
   

Other things that momentarily stall the fingers as they poise above the keyboard, ready to spill the beans?

--He:"Gwrrrrrrrrrbpt!"** [pause] "That's how I feel inside."
Me: blink blink

--BG and I have started a contest. The person who makes it up the stairs to bed before 10:30 the most nights each week will be the proud owner of a stiff (oh, stop it), crisp, new-as-the-atm-will-spit-out $100 bill. Sad, isn't it, when you have to turn to competition to give your body what it needs. Even sadder? Neither of us has been able to successfully meet said deadline since we started on Sunday. Will probably both die from exhaustion sometime in mid-August. Pray for the boy, won't you?

--LG has decided to enter the terrible twos 4 months early. Am not currently so much in love with my son during the 12 hours each day that he is awake. And the biting? On the tender fleshy part of my thigh? Right after he has head-butted the exit from whence he came into this world? That has so got to stop.

*LeapBlog: In which you go to a blog that you know and love, scan through the linky-love-list for an unfamiliar blog and go see what they have to say. Maybe even LeapBlog from there. Oh, the places you'll go! Oh, the things you will see! Also, you should go check out this and this and this. And if you're in the mood to do something in the "make a difference from my own keyboard" category, steal this. Seriously. Or if that one's not your style, go steal this one. Come on. All the cool kids are doing it.

**Raunchiest man-burp ever. Probably needs a few more "r's" in there. And perhaps an "h".


.
image from:
http://www.eckstein.seattleschools.org/elmiller/more/darth-tater/

oh, just put away your duster already

I'm still here. I'm in that "compose a post, backspace, backspace, backspace, backspace, re-read, backspace, backspace, oh screw it, delete the whole damn thing" phase. Again. Mostly because the one thing I really want NEED to blog about I'm under strict orders from the Grand Overlord of the Evil Empire (via BG) to keep under wraps. The secret blog is working overtime. But, as therapeutic as it is to just get the fuzz out of my head and out *there*, I crave input, feedback and advice. All the stuff I can't get from the shelter of anonymity. So that's where I am. Stuck with too much news that I can't tell and not enough other news to crowd it out of my head. What's a girl to do?

Warn Others

.

currently googling "dowry"

wheeeeee! a glimpse into the future, perhaps?

When I read this I laughed so hard I nearly peed my pants. And then I shuddered because in the not so distant future this could

SO.
BE.
MY.
LIFE.

What have we gotten ourselves into?


.

rendered rantless

I had a good one going, all about how I feel about guns and why. Then I sent LG downstairs for a snack and when I came around the corner I encountered this:




Somehow all the rambly-rant just swooshed out of me. I'll happily discuss my opinions/views on larger world matters with any of you who care to engage in such a discussion in a more private setting. But I'll be just as happy to keep giggling as my little boy reinterprets the age old question "Pepper, madame?"


.

the post for which i can't come up with a title

We're back from the big trip to North Carolina and I think I can safely say that a good time was had by all, at least most of the time. Hurdles we overcame:

• BG almost didn't make it due to some work issues, but was able to pull off a spectacular save in the end and fly down to join us Wednesday morning. The jury is still out as to which distressed him more -- missing the beginning of or participating in the end of the trip. He bore it well, though, as did all of the brother's-in-law... how those guys put up with our particular brand of crazy is something that should be looked into for potential combat training. Water torture, phbtbt!


• LG and I made the 10 hour drive in a little under 11 hours. He only puked once and I'm still not certain whether that was due to his propensity to motion sickness or because I decided to warm up my now defunct punning skills (required to carry on a conversation of any length with my father) at exactly that moment. Something about "Maury Creek" becoming "Lessy Creek" in a time of drought. Yes, I'll wait as you go wipe your mouths and rinse that foul, foul taste from it.


• The ever-so-yummily scrumptious dinner of grilled bbq chicken, pasta salad, and baked beans that I had planned as the kick-off to our 4 day eating fest turned into microwaved bbq pork sandwich with pasta salad and baked beans when I discovered that the grills were of the charcoal variety and there were 8 hungry children to feed. Immediately. Thankfully that was the only meal I turned out to be responsible for. Hmmm, might be more to everyone leaving before I could feed them lunch on Saturday...


• The walkers in the group (we signed up to participate in a 5K/1-mile charity event) didn't get to do their thing. For some (unfathomable) reason, the walk didn't begin until after all the runners came back in. Granted, there were few no tears as we loaded back into the cars to head home. Two minutes after the pizza arrived any residual disappointment turned to contented finger licking. Hey, I never said we were a complicated group.


• My parents inadvertently raised a liberal. One who doesn't like guns. And since I didn't let my feelings get hurt, that conversation didn't get too far out of hand.

In the end, there were countless hugs shared, a katrillion calories consumed, at least 45 thousand new inside jokes developed, and well over 90 bazillion memories created. The whole mommy thing sort of changed the glasses through which I watched the whole thing play out and now I've got about a million bits and pieces of thoughts running through my head -- potential posts, I suppose. But first I've got a bit of a stomach issue to work through, not to mention the mountains of laundry. And then there's that pesky 100+ list of posts that I missed out on during the festivities...


.