an open letter to anyone born after 1977

Currently making the email rounds is this little gem. Just had to share!

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning ... uphill BOTH ways ... yadda, yadda, yadda.

I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way I was going to lay a bunch of stuff like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it. But now that, I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a Utopia! I hate to say it but... You kids today,

you don't know how good you've got it!

I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog. There was no email. We had to actually write somebody a letter, with a pen, then walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox. Believe it or not, we were prepared for it to take a week or more to get there.

There were no MP3's or Napsters. You wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself. Or you could wait around all day to tape (better link to that one) it off the radio and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up!

We didn't have fancy stuff like call waiting. If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal. And we didn't have fancy caller ID boxes either. When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was. It could be your school, HIM, your best friend (translation: "BFF"), that geeky guy that sat next to you in geometry, your mom, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you just didn't know. You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600 with games like "Space Invaders" and "Asteroids" and awful simple graphics. Your guy was a little square, forcing you to use your imagination (or, God forbid, get up off the couch and do something else before you died of boredom). There were no multiple levels or screens, just you bouncing a little block back and forth and back and forth and back and forth on the same screen. Forever. And forget winning. You could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died. Sort of like real LIFE.

When you went to the movie theater there no such thing as stadium seating. All the seats were the same height. If a tall guy or some lady with "big hair" in front of you and you couldn't see, you were just out of luck.

Sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 15 channels and there was no onscreen menu, no remote control, and certainly no DVR. You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on. And channel surfing? Ha. You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel. There was no Cartoon Network either. You could only get cartoons on Saturday morning. Do you hear what I'm saying?

We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons!

Most of us didn't have microwaves. If we wanted to heat something up we had to use the stove or go build a frigging fire ... imagine that! If we wanted popcorn we had to use that stupid Jiffy Pop thing and shake it over the stove forever like an idiot.

So now maybe you'll understand the next time you run into one of us and we just walk away, shaking our heads and mumbling under our breath. You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled. You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980!

The over 30's crowd

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Jacqueline said...

wow. I had no idea that I had it so good! To have all that stuff (internet, callwaiting, stadium seating) and STILL be under 30. Amazing. Life is good.

susan said...

Oh, little sister, I *salute* you. In that special one-finger sort of way that Philadelphians seem to have perfected. Yuck it up while you can.