in which i attempt to catch up on all the non-crazy related events of the past month or so

First, words fail to express how touched and thankful I am to each of you who have made it a point to reach out to me after my last post. The comments, the phone calls, the emails... it's all been so overwhelming. Knowing that you are out there, arms stretched out to brace me as I struggle through something I don't completely understand fills me with a peace that I never expected to find at the beginning of this journey. Thank you.


What have we been up to? LG and I took a trip to my sister's to help her celebrate the culmination of an amazing project that she began nearly a year ago. For several years, she has selflessly given her time and energy and a large portion of her paycheck to raise money for the American Cancer Society. She's done it all -- relayed and rallied; held BBQ's, car washes, and bake sales. This year she took it to a whole new level. A post about the event is in the works... If you are so compelled, you can join the cause here.

We were back less than a week before it was time for a shower. No, not that kind of shower. I do actually do that on a regular enough basis for it to not be blogworthy. This was of the celebratory type -- a bridal shower for one of the most amazing women on the planet (and I don't just say that because she is "making" us take a trip to Maui for the wedding. Sigh. It's a hard life I lead.) My BFF if I were the type to use such an abbreviation. Just typing that makes me feel a little like that mom trying too hard to be cool. And we all know that I'm not cool. This wasn't your standard toilet-paper-dress and "guess the number of condoms in the jar" type bridal shower. We classed it up to a brunch at a nearby bed-and-breakfast and I took full advantage of my matron of honor duties seriously enough to make sure that the bride-to-be got a little pre-shower R&R. Okay, so it was more like dinner and then we stayed up all night talking and the jury is still out as to whether it was for her or just a really, really, really good opportunity for me to take a night off from bath duty and the ever-so-recurrent 4am "Mahhhhhhhh-meeeeeeee" wake-up call. Shit. Come to think of it, I can't honestly remember if I asked if she enjoyed herself...
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One of my sisters has a standard line that she uses when she's telling a story and it's just not getting the reaction that she was expecting. "And then I found five dollars!" she will excitedly interject, pulling the tale to a sudden finish. She's onto something, for sure -- everyone gets excited over a story that ends that way. And it definitely cuts down on the potential awkwardness when you just can't figure out how to back out gracefully. That's how I'm feeling about posting lately. I start out all good-intentioned, carefully selecting my words for the greatest impact and just when I'm getting warmed up, I look out over the faces in my audience and realize that they're all just listening out of politeness. Sorry y'all. I didn't want to dwell on the mind-barf two posts in a row, but that seems to be all I can focus on lately. The Crazy has become my own personal talking stain. The only thing I can focus on, try as I might to pay attention to what it is you're actually saying.

So then I found five dollars. We'll talk about how I spent it next time.


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3 comments:

annenahm said...

Mmmm... Maui.... It's kind of hard to feel bad for you. I'm sorry about the crazy. Put that crazy on a leash and explain calmly and quietly that it is your bitch, and not the other way round. Take care.

susan said...

Oh, Anne, I'm wondering if I should be sending you my husband's hard-earned paycheck instead of sitting on a couch bi-monthly.

I'm off to search the 'net for a leash for the crazy... maybe something in a choke-collar for those days when a smack in the ass with the newspaper just isn't cutting it? And a t-shirt emblazoned with "Crazy is my Bitch." Best laugh I've had in weeks!!!

Jacqueline said...

I'd buy that t-shirt. Couldn't wear it to work...but still. I'd buy it.

And that phrase does work. I used it just the other day and turned a May-day style nose dive into a smooth sailing story of great interest. yay me!