Mommy, I am going to make you my famous peanut butter and jelly water now.

Mmm, that sounds delicious.
Yes, it is. And it is very hard to make.
It is?
Yes, it is. It is very hard to make because it is water. So it doesn't have very many 'gredients. So you have to get it just right.
Thinking: Hmmm. Seems like someone else had a similar problem once. Except that wasn't about making something else into water, that was about making water into something else. So this is kind of the opposite. Hey wait, does that make my kid is the Anti-Christ?
: That does sound difficult.
I just mentally compared my kid to the Anti-Christ. And it didn't really phase me. What, exactly, does that mean?

Yesterday I received that horoscope email that's been making the rounds. It begins:
This is the real deal. Try ignoring it, and the first thing you'll notice is having a horrible day starting tomorrow morning . . . and it only gets worse from there.
(blah blah blah a bunch of stuff about everyone else blah blah blah)
AQUARIUS - Does It In The Water (Once. Didn't like it.)
Trustworthy. (Sure!)
Attractive. (Thanks!)
Great kisser. (Well, I wouldn't be the one to judge.)
One of a kind, loves being in long-term relationships. (I guess 14 years counts as "long-term.)
Tries hard. (Too hard, some would say.)
Will take on any project. (Yup.)
Proud of themselves in whatever they do. (Say what now?)
Messy and unorganized. (Wait, I think I might have skipped a line... Is this still Aquarius?)
Procrastinators. (Got me there.)
Great lovers, when they're not sleeping. (...)
Extreme thinkers. (And hence the therapist.)
Loves their pets usually more than their family. (Mmmm, no. Or, poor family if that's the case because the poor cat has been on a steady diet of "just enough attention so that she won't poop on the carpet" since the kid was born.)
Can be VERY irritating to others when they try to explain or tell a story. (Dear god,yes. I annoy myself when telling a story. Tangent, anyone?)
Unpredictable. (Probably not as much as I like to think I am.)
Will exceed your expectations. (Depends on where the bar is set.)
Not a Fighter but will Knock your lights out... (More than likely because I was trying to be cool and toss something nonchalantly across the room to you.)
2 years of bad luck if you do not forward. (Come on now, who believes this crap?)
And so I casually hit the delete button. But not before I read the "bottom line"
1-3 people= 1 minute of luck
4-7 people= 1 hour of luck
8-12 people = 1 day of luck
13-17 people = 1 week of luck
18-22 people = 1 month of luck
23-27 people = 3 months of luck
28- 32 people = 7 months of luck
33-37 people = 1 year of luck
38 and more = a very lucky life!
...and forwarded it to three of my alternate email addresses because somewhere in my brain it made sense that although I don't for a second believe that I might have bad luck for breaking an email chain,maybe I do believe it a teeny tiny bit and just in case I should probably send it along to the minimum number of people necessary (although now that I look at it I could have gotten away with just one of those email addresses since the actual bare minimum is 1). You know, because the internet won't know that those addresses are all mine and then I've technically followed the instructions even though I didn't really. And now, guess what? I'm stuck in an endless loop of my own illogical making because when I checked my email this morning? I've now received that email THREE. MORE. TIMES. So now I either have to really ignore it or go on and do something about it and this could very well be what it meant when it said "it only gets worse from there".

You aren't laughing at me, are you?


My siblings and I draw names at Christmas time.

Each year a different sibling has the responsibility of drawing and notifying the givers/recipients of their respective names.

I drew the names for 2009.

I posted the necessary information on our family blog. In March.

In October, I began my normal Christmas shopping routine. That is, I began thinking that I should probably start thinking about what I was going to give the sibling I had drawn for myself to give to.

In November I began bugging my little brother about what he would like for Christmas. He emailed me back with a fabulous little list of his top wants.

In December I pulled out his list, crossed my fingers that I still had time to get a package to Afghanistan before Christmas, and crossed him off my list.

Everyone had a very merry Christmas. Including my younger sister in Indiana. The one who I was supposed to be sending a Christmas gift to this year. Hey, sis, how does Christmas in late January/February sound to you?



Lora said...

my child is the antichrist, so unless there are two, I think you are safe.

SheBear said...

Bwahahahahaaaa! I already told you, the joyfully-rubbing-your-face-in-it-for-years-to-come is the BEST Christmas gift EVER! :-D

Blackmail: the currency of sisterhood! :-P