19

Turns out that the UK birthday was not to be the better of the two.  


Aaron's classroom teacher met me at drop off this morning and asked if I could meet with the head teacher at 2:45 this afternoon.  I guess I don't have to explain that my heart dropped directly to my toes and, other than the time I was distracted by conversation over coffee, it only rose high enough to set my stomach churning for the remainder of the day.  The rain started coming down at 2:35. By 2:48 I was thankful that I would have the rain to cover for the tears that I was struggling to hold back.  

The head teacher has asked me to withdraw Aaron from school prior to the winter term that starts in January.  She alluded to "increasingly aggressive incidents" that are now happening on a daily basis.  Parents have voiced their concerns, and rightfully so.  All children have a right to a safe education, and if it is mine that is threatening the safety of others, then they are right to ask him to go.  

I am heartbroken.  I feel defeated.  I wish I knew where to go from here.  I can honestly say I have poured every fiber of my being into understanding the big question of Who Aaron Is and trying to make myself and the less than comprehensible ways of Living With Others understood, but right now it seems that all my efforts have been for naught.

I will have a hot bath, a cup of tea and go to bed.  I will cry in my bath and in my cup of tea, but hopefully the melatonin will be enough to keep my tears at bay so that I can sleep.  Hopefully that sleep will help me see the way forward in the morning.  And if not, I will still get up, hug my little boy close, make us some breakfast and spend the day trudging around in circles until I find a new direction for us to go.  

Sometimes parenting sucks.


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